LEADERS' DEBATE SUMMARY

MONTREAL -- The following is a summary of our live coverage of the 2014 Leaders' debate:

OPENING STATEMENTS:
- Leaders mention the lack of importance of a referendum 10 times in 3 minutes.

JOBS AND THE ECONOMY:

- Francoise David wants to stop Quebec from turning into an "Oil State", by pointing out that there is no oil in Quebec.

- The zero voters on Anticosti Island are pleased that the leaders are finally talking about their issues.

- Legault, with "Gaspésie/Gaspillage" line, takes early lead in Debate Pun Contest.

- Polls indicate that yelling random job numbers makes leaders appear interesting, likeable

SOCIAL SERVICES:

- Legault says "You didn't do your homework" during education debate; takes 2-0 lead in Play-On-Words Contest

-  Health and education cease to be voters' top priorities after realizing that talking about those issues is so boring.

NATIONALITY AND IDENTITY:

- Leaders finally talk about Pierre Karl Péladeau in order to wake themselves up.

- Francoise David promises referendum in her first term as premier (in year 2135).

CLOSING STATEMENTS:

- Only "knock-out punch" at Québec leaders' debate from viewers who tried to knock themselves unconscious to avoid boredeom.