Couillard promises not to say anything else during campaign

LACHUTE -- Liberal leader Philippe Couillard promised supporters that he "would not say anything else" during the campaign, in order to avoid losing more votes before the April 7 election date.

"I will remain silent until the 7th, starting... now!", said Couillard during a speech, to thunderous applause from his supporters in Lachute.

He then continued his speech to describe hijabs as "fashionable, sensible, and the right thing to wear under all circumstances,"  he described the Canadian constitution as "the greatest written document since the Magna Carta", and called all unilingual people "stupid".

He concluded his speech by saying that he thought that the Quebec construction industry was "cleaner than Sainte-Justine Hospital" and that the brown paper envelopes in which the Quebec Liberal Party kept its campaign donations was "sensible, given current bank interest rates."

Couillard's advisers concluded the speech by switching off the electricity in the building and chasing Couillard off the stage with a rake.